15 Big, Fat Lies We Tell Ourselves.

1. Everything would be great if I lost weight/quit my job/got a man, etc. 
No, everything would be just like it is now, except you'd weigh less, be unemployed or have someone to watch Lost with—and there's a chance you'd be complaining about something new. Happiness and satisfaction come from within, and you're capable of appreciating the good things that are in your life right now.

2. Hard work speaks for itself. 
I don't need to ask for recognition. This is the little lie that spares you the potential awkwardness of having to toot your own horn (which, admittedly, can be uncomfortable!). But the fact is, unless you do the tooting, all you're likely to hear is silence.

3. He really loves me; he's just afraid to commit. 
Why would you choose someone who won't choose you? If he's really afraid of love, then maybe you should be afraid of him.

4. They'll never know I lied. 
Even if you don't get caught and life goes on, it's not quite the same. Funny how lying makes you think everyone else is too.

5. He cheated on her, but he wouldn't ever cheat on me. 
And you believe him because he, the guy who lied to his last girlfriend about being faithful, promised you he'd…be faithful?

6. I just couldn't say no. 
Actually, you could have, but it's hard to say no when you know that's not what the other person wants to hear. Figuring out your real reasons for not wanting to say it—maybe you're scared of disapproval or anger, for instance—could help you work up the courage to utter the dreaded (yet so liberating) little syllable

7. Some people have all the luck (and I'm not one of them). 
This one's a lie that undermines your power to control your destiny—and to claim the credit when good things do come your way. Because the more you believe in luck, the less you believe in yourself.

8. I can quit anytime. The cigarettes. The toxic boyfriend. The nonstop shopping. 
Telling yourself that you have a bad habit but that you could always drop it is crafty. By admitting that what you're hooked on isn't good for you, you think you're on top of things. If you're really on top of things, prove it: Quit.

9. If I looked like Sienna Miller, everything would be easy. 
Do you really think a breezy, rejection-free life is there waiting for someone just because she's gorgeous? Rich? Tall? Hello! Jude boinked the nanny!

10. I'll buy it—but only after I lose some weight. 
Maybe you will lose the weight this time. But if you're always living as if perfection is just around the corner, you're denying reality—and missing out on being happy in thenow.

11. Nobody appreciates my genius. 
Maybe you are an undiscovered Van Gogh. But if you're so talented, you should be able to find a way to share that brilliance with the world.

12. A little tan won't hurt. 
What part of "wrinkles" and "cancer" don't you believe? Thinking you're immune from life's tough stuff is a sign that you don't value life's great stuff.

13. Sure, I'd love to go. 
If you really would like to go, terrific. Saying yes to life is wonderful, if you mean it. Saying yes reflexively to any and every invitation—your cousin's boss's baby shower, for example—could mean you're giving up your life to enhance everyone else's.

14. I don't need any help. 
Denying that you need emotional support, someone to make you laugh or just a ride to the airport may feel like independence, but it's often a lie that protects you from revealing vulnerability. And nothing makes friends faster than vulnerability.

15. If I had time I'd…write a book/exercise more/go back to school, etc.
You're busy, I'm busy, everybody's busy. Is lack of time a handy excuse for not doing the things you really want to do but are deep-down scared of failing at? Or maybe you can't admit you really don't want to do something anymore because you think letting go of an old goal is the same thing as failing. Just do it—or just don't!