Conformity versus Individuality.

We live in a world where it is wrong to be an individual.

No one lives alone, so people say. No one can live alone. I agree. However, this has nothing to do with the statement above. This does not justify the social view's on people who choose to live as a complete individual. Most of the times, when people choose to live individually, it is viewed as strange. Or worse, sick. You see, "individual" is not alone. Being individual means that you're being independent. That you choose to live your life the way you want it, not regulated by numerous social rules and regulations.

When we were little children, we were always asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And when we didn't come up with any answer, our parents would tell us, "You have to know what you want to be. You can be anything you want to be, don't be afraid. Feel free to choose any dream you want." They also would ask us, "If someone jumps off the cliff, would you do it, too?" These questions triggered the idealist in us. These questions gave us a little taste of freewill and determination to take our fate in our own hands. These questions were supposed to plant in us the sense of individuality, that you don't need anybody to make life decisions for you. Then we grew up. And in the process, at some points in life, parents started to convey their hopes and dreams. They would tell us, "When I was your age, I was more daring than you are." Or they would simply say, "When you become a mother, I hope you will do what I do and understand how it feels to be a mother." Now, these parents are telling their kids how they wish their kids could be more like them. They are telling the kids that if they become like their parents, they will be more responsible adults and have good moral values. Are you confused? I am.

Little have you understood those conflicting emotions yet, you then entered school. You then found out that the only way to survive at school was by following certain 'trends' or 'rules'. You need, at some point, define who you are based on how much you want to be accepted. If you want to be popular, you gotta be one of those popular kids. If you want to be perceived as smart, you need to be a geek. Sometimes, things could get too extreme and you look like you're trying too hard. You have to behave like everyone else or you will get erased by the social circle and be labeled as the 'anti-social' or the 'public-embarrassment'. Society puts borderlines between people. They draw circles and count everyone in or out all the time. You want to be in, you don't want to be separated from other people or counted out. Now, who cares about individuality? This is called surviving.

It doesn't stop there. Your parents would advise you to befriend the 'good friends' and avoid the 'bad friends'. Your friends would tell you to do things they do otherwise, you would no longer be their friends. And while everything is happening so messily, there would always be certain groups of people, like teachers or other adults, who would treat you a certain way because of who your friends are. And they say, school isn't difficult.

And then it's time to decide what kind of things that will define you. What kind of clothing to wear or what kind of things to say. On the TV, you would see hundreds or thousands of advertisements that are constantly telling you what 'nice' dress to wear or 'nice' style to have. They have models, slogans, lifestyles and they have TV, radio, newspapers, and billboards as their medium of disposal. They battle to win your money by telling you how you should live your life. And these are all so confusing. By the time you make your decision, the trend is already over and you are faced with the same endless cycle. And this happens to everyone at all points in their life process.

What time do you have to go to bed, what kind of car should you be driving, what kind of boy should you hook up with, what kind of daughter is considered as a good one, what kind of drink do you order at bars, what college are you going to after graduating high school, what kind of major are you going to take, what kind of companies do you choose to be a part of, which dress are you going to wear to the party tonight, which correct shoes are you going to wear at your wedding day, when will your honeymoon destination be? The list is never ending. You will always be perceived as right or wrong, a good person or not, based on these things you do or choose to have. See, I'm not saying these aren't important things. I'm saying, what people think of what you choose is never important compared to your decisions and your decisions alone.

The concept of conformity has reached its own new era of definition. It has regulated our lives so perfectly and so anonymously that you are no longer clear on what to do or what to have. Companies advertise and ask us to define our own selves and choose our own styles, but they are urging us to a new concept of conformity: trend follower. You arrive at a point where you are no longer aware if your personality is in fact your own, or the society has formed and created for you.

If you buy a Louis Vuitton bag because you want a bag, it contains a big difference than if you buy the bag because of the prestige you're about to have. If you buy a pair of trainers triggered by the your need of a running shoes rather than its billboard slogan, a prevailing big difference do exist. Now can we arise from these never-ending cycle of destruction? Some would say no. Some would believe that if we do succeed in pulling ourselves out of this black hole of social capitalism, we would only be dragged back into the cycle with or without we knowing. But I say, we can. The questions of which things to have or do or say will always be existent in every second of our lives, but it doesn't mean we can't control them. We can control them, and choose what is the best for us or what we do really want, rather than putting society's opinion as the foundation of our decisions. It matters when you choose to do something because it will make you happy, not because it will be perceived as righteous by the society.

However, like old men would argue, norms are there for a reason. This, I agree with, too. You can have anything you want, do anything you want to, say anything you feel like, date any boy you like, wear any dress you think as pretty, as long as it doesn't trample on other people's happiness. It all goes back to the blending of individuality and tolerance concept. You can be yourself and claim any kind of life you want, as long as you don't hurt people in process of doing so. Happiness that come from sacrificing other people's happiness do not mean much, after all. It's as bad as having people live your life for you. So, the idea of individuality is something we have yet to define for ourselves. To which extent can we satisfy our own needs to be free and idealist individuals without crossing the borderline of telling people how to live their lives or making their lives, even if it's only slightly, unhappier? If you can answer that particular question and derive a positive phrasing when answering, you've beaten those odds and you have broken through the hellish endless cycle of conformity.